As everyone knows these are strange times. We are all experiencing 'Lock down' in different ways. Winter is a more difficult time for many of us. As the nights draw in I tend to 'Lock- down'... and so we have Lock-down on top of Lock-down and I do feel....a bit 'Locked in.'

The Spring 'Lock-down' was easy for me. We live in an area of outstanding natural beauty. Everything was coming into bud. The weather was glorious and painting was flowing. I couldn't work fast enough, preparing work for my re-scheduled show at Cambridge Contemporary in the Autumn. This time around it is not so easy. I have been working on the same painting for several months now. Ruining it from time to time by applying random colours to try to move it on and wiping them off before the paint dries. I remind myself that some of my most difficult paintings turn out to be my best. That it will come right in the end. To keep going. I can’t find out what is wrong with this painting or what it needs. I go round and around in circles, destroying what should be preserved and preserving what should be destroyed.

It is an obvious assertion that for creative people, their state of mind is reflected in their work. Feeling blocked or hemmed in is not good for my flow. I have lots of plans. The studio is set up, boards prepared. I have so many inspiring photographs and sketches to work on. I walk into the studio and feel overwhelmed. Confidence is low. I paint another layer on the difficult painting, sand it down, paint a dark green path, wipe it out. Go into the kitchen for a stiff gin at 6 pm. (I am lying about the time.)

Sharow Fields, Earth Song, Bluebell Woods,

Instagram has provided an interesting almost obsessive pastime for me of late. Having been locked out of Facebook, (a situation no expert seems able to solve) A latecomer to the platform I feel rather behind and daunted by the spectacular number of followers many of my fellow artists enjoy.

However, I take time, enjoying the process of curation, - an educational process in itself. I am deeply suspicious of the digital world. I think it has made things unnecessarily complicated. However, I have been seduced by Instagram. I never would have found the top rate artists I have found had I not been on it. Looking at the work of others, helps me assess my own. There are so many talented people out there it is humbling. So humbling that occasionally the little voice 'give it up' comes into my head. Especially in these times of trying to make a living without a gallery or exhibitions. But then there is the other voice 'never give up 'and I am reminded that each day is a brand new opportunity to really live and 'Locked down' is often only a state of mind. I remember also a line to a poem someone sent me.

'After the darkest part of the darkest night- the light comes.'

One to remember for these times and all times and to bear in mind when struggling with the creative process. Another friend told me that creating was an act of faith. We don't know if it will work or we will get paid or people will like what we do or whether or not we will be successful. We do it because we have to. Because in creativity is hope and the ability to put some sort of order to chaos; the striving to be good and better at what we do, to impart hope, joy, beauty and comfort; to lift up the soul.